I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize