i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
