You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
