I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
