In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
