That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
