Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
send nudes
from the living room?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize