too bad you live with your parents still
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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