he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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