i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
