Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Less talking, more tequila
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
