I'm drive I can fine osifer
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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