You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You pole danced in your parka.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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