Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize