Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
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And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
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You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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