He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
