Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
