TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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