They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
