theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
