Your face is a jimmy john
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm like, not good at living.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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