I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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