Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
