mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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