I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I wish i was in the wii world.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Randomize
