Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
