Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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