i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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