you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
