Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
