I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Randomize