Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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