Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize