i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
