she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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