WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The air was thick with penises
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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