fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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