I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Tell her she can't have a vagina
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
