He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
