That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We are two peas in an std pod
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize