Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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