Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
