Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
the raccoons are back...
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