Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
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