Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
