just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize