I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
