Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
