..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
