The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
