Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
