The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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