i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
