Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
