I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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