I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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