you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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