A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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