Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
