and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
