I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
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